I wish I met you first
by Rina76
Summary: Lisa thinks about Justin's statement and Justin reveals what he *really* meant by that remark.


Title - I wish I met you first. Author - Rina76. Rating - PG13. Warning - Language, adult themes, sexual references. Summary - Lisa thinks about Justin's statement and Justin reveals what he really meant by that remark.  
  
***  
  
"I wish I met you first."  
  
That's what Justin said to Lisa, right before he walked out the door and went to meet Richard. She was extremely flattered, under her concern about Justin's safety. She thought it meant that Justin wanted to have been her boyfriend, before Richard came into their lives and screwed them over. Literally. She would have rather lost her virginity to Justin, instead of Richard.  
  
Not that Richard was a bad lover, 'cos he wasn't. At all. He was very good in bed. Very talented. That was why she slept with him again, long after they broke up. Or, more accurately, after Richard dumped her for the next pretty girl that caught his eye. She couldn't believe she fell for that 'C'mon, it's fun in here!' line. Richard was a player, always had been, and that would never change.  
  
But Justin wasn't. Justin was sweet and shy and really, really smart. He was beautiful, and unlike Richard, hadn't the faintest clue how incredibly attractive he was. The guy was a girl's fantasy come true. He was a wonderful kisser, polite and respectful, grew exotic flowers and listened to classical music. He was the kind of guy who would recite poems for her and surprise her with picnics and candlelit dinners, lovingly cooked by himself, of course.  
  
At least, that's what she dreamed being his girlfriend would be like.  
  
Now, thanks to Richard's trickery and conniving, Justin had helped him commit a crime and who knew what would happen after they turned themselves in? She couldn't care less about what happened to Richard, that bastard could rot in jail for the rest of his life as far as she was concerned. Especially after using her to make that sleazy tape. That tape that Justin had given to her, calling her 'quite the slut.' She'd been stung by that insult and slapped Justin hard across the face in front of everyone at school.  
  
But she wasn't mad at him anymore. This whole thing, this sordid nightmare, it was all Richard's fault. He did this. He made Justin do it. And now Justin, poor innocent, wayward Justin, was meeting him somewhere and she didn't know what Richard, that evil prick, would make him do next. Or do to him.  
  
Fraught with worry, she picked up the phone and called Cassie.  
  
***  
  
"I wish I met you first."  
  
To the casual observer, that statement appeared to make perfect sense. It was simple, short and concise. However, Lisa misunderstood his meaning. What Justin was saying was a lot more complicated than a teenage yearning to have scored the hot piece of blonde ass before his competition did.  
  
Puh-lease. It wasn't some gorilla territorial thing like that. But he didn't have the time or the desire to explain it fully to her and so he let Lisa take the words however she wanted. It didn't matter anymore.  
  
He really did wish that he had met Lisa first. Because if he met Lisa first, they would probably be an item by now, boyfriend and girlfriend, making plans of going to college and maybe moving in together, giving each other bleeding commitment rings or something. Because then he wouldn't be in this horrible mess that he was in right now. Because then he wouldn't be a murderer. Because then he could have been snuggled up on the couch watching movies with Lisa, holding hands and murmuring sweet nothings, like any other young besotted couple, not on his way to meet Richard at the bluff to blow their brains out in a suicide pact. So much for being free.  
  
The plan was utterly ruined now. Richard talked. He fucking talked! After having a go at Justin for telling Cassie about the tutoring and for throwing up near the body. After calling Justin dumb and a little bitch. Yeah, he remembered. Every hateful word.  
  
"I'm not the one talking, Justin. I'm not the one giving away all the information. I'm not the one trying to get us caught 'cos I'm a scared little bitch who feels guilty! I trust you. I depend on you for all this forensic stuff and you have no idea what you're talking about! You were supposed to be the smart one."  
  
Justin had interrupted the tirade a couple of times to tell Richard not to talk to him like that, to stop it, but Richard kept going.  
  
"No, you were supposed to be smart. You're dumb!"  
  
Except Richard was the one who ended up spilling his guts to that detective without any regard for what they had promised each other or what would happen to them both. He blabbed, just like a thirteen year-old girl on the phone to her best gal pal. Oh yeah. That was real smart, Richard. Pure genius. Now, they were both fucked, big time. Richard was such a goddamn GIMP!  
  
Justin punched the centre of the steering wheel as he drove at one hundred miles an hour toward the old winter lodge, making a growl of helpless frustration.  
  
"I don't have any feelings left. Except for you."  
  
That's what he told Lisa before they kissed, but it was a big, fat, stinking lie. Not about having feelings for her, because he does, but about not having any other emotions. He has other feelings and emotions, but they are dangerous, dark, bitter and twisted and better left shoved deep down inside himself, where nobody, not even him, can find them.  
  
Oh, how he wished he'd met Lisa first. With all his black heart and soul. Because if Justin met Lisa first, then he would have fallen in love with her.  
  
Instead of with Richard.  
  
That's what he meant.  
  
END  
  
Author's note - I realised after I wrote this that there was no way Justin could have known that Richard talked to the cops, not unless he was a mind reader! Cos Richard sure as hell didn't tell him and nobody else told Justin. Hmmm. Food for thought. 


End file.
